Ayyub Alaihissalaam's Wife

Never did he have 2 pieces of clothing if he ever knew that there were people somewhere in need of clothing. Neither did he ate his fill while he knew that there were people hungry somewhere. He used to make those who receive charity from him feel as though they were doing him a favour by accepting it. Such was Ayyub Alaihissalaam's generosity, but who cared about him when he fell terminally ill? No one, except his beloved wife.

She stood by him through the worst and thus had to go through so much pain herself just because of that.

All her problems were because of him. Had she left him it would've eased her worldly life. She wouldn't have required to work like a slave, begging to be employed so that she may be able to earn a few pennies to feed her fatally ill husband.

But she held on to him and suffered so much. Even sold her hair section by section until she got completely bald, just so that she could feed him - without his knowledge. She loved him so much that she didn't even care about her own beauty.

Her husband lost all his wealth, their beloved children and his health, one after another. His illness was so severe that people isolated him and his wife, fearing that the illness was contagious.

Despite all that, she never left him. Until one day, Shaytaan managed to persuade her and thus she asked Ayyoob Alaihissalaam, 'How long are we going to suffer like this? Why won't you ask Allah for his mercy?'
Upon that, Ayyoob Alaihissalaam got furious and promised that if he ever gets better, he will lash her a 100 times for that.

Imagine working like a slave to provide for a husband who was unable to do anything for her, only to be paid back with such a statement. He didn't even tolerate that *seemingly* mild complaint of her, after all those years of service. Wouldn't she have got depressed?

Her husband got mad at her because she wasn't thankful to Allah. He was ashamed to ask Allah for his mercy because he felt that he hasn't suffered as much as he had previously enjoyed. Thankfully, she was someone who - when she errs, rectifies it and rushes to seek forgiveness from Allah. She was someone who valued the words of her husband & readily understood them. She didn't get into an argument with him. She didn't remind him of her services and sacrifices - that he must be indebted to her. Instead, she just left the house crying when he asked her to leave him alone.
Isn't that how we women must be?

Being strong doesn't mean you need to roar like a lioness every time you feel that you are being wronged. Being strong can also mean to patiently endure and persevere, putting other's needs first. Not everyone are able to let go of their own pain and complaints even for the sake of the people they love.

Let us take heed and reflect, in sha Allah. May Allah have mercy upon her & bless her with eternal Paradise. Ameen.

Support your Breastfeeding Wife

I don't know whether I can touch on this topic as I should due to my lack of experience, but I want to give it a try, since this has been giving me nightmares lately. Awkward enough, I couldn't blame anyone except Mr. husbands out there for the posts I've been seeing online. She gave birth to your beloved daughter/son and you are as much needed to cater for your child's needs as much as her.

Why must she be forced to stay awake while she's feeling like a zombie?
Why does she need to take drugs or use caffeine to stay awake? Have you ever realized how her mental well-being affects your child??
Why is she ridiculed for the mess your child has made around the house?
Why doesn't she get 'any' time to take a shower peacefully?
Why Mr. Husband? WHY??

You men need to get educated. Make it your job to learn something. Seriously, even if you just google about it for 15-30 minutes you will be WAY more educated than the average dad who prefers to stay ignorant.

As the due date is nearing, accumulate all the information required about lactation and the well-being of mother & child. Next, offer to help her when she gives birth. Even though she might not allow you out of respect, this means the world to a woman. I feel for those new mothers out there.

She is feeding your baby every 2 hours during the first few weeks after birth. Show her some respect by handling a few diapers whenever you are around. Hand over anything that she is unable to get her hands on while breastfeeding. Ask her whether she'd like anything. Slice some fresh fruits and feed her by yourself while she's knocked out tired, yet breastfeeding.

You are her husband but you need to be her father & mother at the same time, now that she needs you the MOST. Offer the support and warmth she is craving. Most mothers go through baby blues after birth and you'll have to be extra patient & loving during this time. Take care of your baby after work and let her shower peacefully. Tell her to take a nap while you take your baby out for a ride.

Wake up in the middle of the night with her. Don’t let her be the only one to wake up EVERY TIME. Yes, you've got work in the morning unlike her. But you need to excuse your wife and be lenient with her. Allah, the lord of both worlds made the obligatory 'Fasting of Ramadan' easier on her merely because she's breastfeeding. You could at least wake up for the first part of the night, say 1/3rd or 2/3rd (depending on how much you love her - Ha! just kidding) and then change duties for the rest of the night.

It's rare to get sometime by yourselves after she gives birth, so keep in mind to have her emotionally satisfied. Shower her with words of motivation and appreciation. (No, 'you work hard' is too shallow. Try saying, 'my beautiful wife is managing motherhood so well', for a change.) She'll blossom like a flower and trust me, it'll ignite an energy & determination within her that you'd never seen before.

There are other ways to make her feel loved during this difficult time. As a loving husband & a responsible father, you should volunteer to tidy up around the house. She's anxious that you might find out that the laundry box is still full to the brim and there's a plate in the sink she couldn't find time to wash before you came home from work. She wants everything organized & thus feels like a failure right now. This would eventually affect her mental stability and eventually, your baby. Try helping her out and take her anxiety to the trash. Inspire her & let her know that you understand her. Don’t know where the dishes go, how to do the laundry, how to vacuum? Figure it out, you’re not stupid. Man up!

In his house, the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would be at the service of his family: he would milk his sheep, patch his garment, serve himself and mend his shoes. When the time for prayer came, he would go out and lead the people in prayer, then he would sit with them, talk with them, teach them, exhort them, remind them, listen to their complaints, and reconcile between them. Then he would go back to his house.

‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) was asked: What did the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) do in his house? She said: He was a human being like any other; he would clean his garment, milk his sheep and serve himself. (*)

According to another report: He used to stitch his garment, mend his shoes and work as other men work in their houses. (**)

al-Aswad said: I asked ‘Aa’ishah what the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to do in his house. She said: He would serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to the prayer.(***)

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(*) Narrated by Ahmad, 26194; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in as-Saheehah, 671

(**) Narrated by Ahmad (24903); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami‘, 4937.

(***) Narrated by al-Bukhaari (676)

{I've emphasized on 'your child' because some husbands seem to have forgotten that the child belongs to 'both' of them}

{I've previously posted this as a status on my Facebook account. There's no plagiarism involved and neither am I impersonating her because, I am her!}

{Here's a spoiler for motivation: Google helped me gather my information for the most part. You men can do it as well!}