It is not an attribute of a Muslim to be Two-Faced

If we talk to each other about a certain misunderstanding, instead of talking about each other behind their backs, then life would be so much better. It might be difficult, shameful, and perhaps, even hurtful to face a person and express how they are making you feel inside. but then, it's better than backbiting and being two faced, or holding a grudge although communication can solve the problem bi-iznillahi ta'ala.

The ideal Muslim does not backbite or is two faced. Nor does he hold grudges in his heart. His heart is a clean slate, full of forgiveness for his brother & sister in Islam.

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “You find that among the worst people is someone who is two-faced, showing one face to some and another face to others.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Imam Nahlawi said: “It is seldom that a person who visits leaders and important people is free of spoken hypocrisy. Spoken hypocrisy consists of saying what contradicts one’s true state. It is one of the greatest of sins. It includes being two-faced.” [Reliance of the Traveller, by Ahmad ibn Naqib al-Misri]

“Someone told Ibn Umar (radi Allahu anhu), ‘We visit our leaders and speak, but when we leave, we say something else.’ He replied, ‘In the days of the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) we considered this hypocrisy.’” [Tabarani]

Our tongue is a blessing from Allah, which has many specialities in comparison to every other living being on earth. Instead of using it to backbite and spread fitna, go ahead and speak to that person who is causing a satanic stir in your heart. It is quite likely that the conversation would get heated up. Try your best not to mind that. express yourself and present your solution. Let them speak and listen carefully when they do. Tell them sorry if you are on the side of err (or not, if the situation demands that). And end your heated up discussion with a warm, loving hug.

If we were to use our tongues to communicate meticulously with love and affection, every fiend is bound to become our friend.. As Allah says in the Quran:

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i. e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! He, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.” _ { Quran 41:34 }