How to react if someone Hurts you?

When someone does something which hurts you (unintentionally), you have 3 choices regarding the dilemma:
1) Bottle up your true feelings and suppress it.
2) Estrange yourself for fear of getting hurt again by them.
3) Share your sorrows with someone who is willing to listen.

The End result? Here follows (respectively):
1) You develop Anxiety, Depression
2) They feel neglected, and slowly your relationship falls apart. You both become strangers with some memories.
3) You backbite your fellow mate while trying to share your sorrows to soothe yourself. (Whether you name him or not.)

The Solution? Deemed highly offensive and rude by most of the people on this Planet:
∞) Tell them how you feel. Let them know how and why it hurts.
∞) Explain your reasoning and ensure them that you have no enmity in your heart.
∞) Let them speak, hear their thoughts.
∞) Do not let someone else start another topic or intervene - unless necessary.
∞) Do not bring the conversation to a halt or ending until both of you have decided on a feasible solution.
∞) End it with a warm gesture, a hug, a handshake, etc.
∞) Be as close as you were before!

As Simple, & As Difficult as that!

Living in a society in which backbiting is rampant ain't an easy task. You need to recalculate before talking about your sorrows. Sure, the one who hurt you might not have dealt justly with you. But that doesn't allow you to backbite him and degrade him infront of others, even though you are craving to release your stress. If you want to release your stress, go ahead and talk to the person who paved it's path for you. Make peace with him and feel for yourself a life without stress. Sharing your sorrows with someone releases your stress only for a moment. Why settle for a temporary solution while you can go for a permanent solution?

Think Before you Backbite! It's Haraam and you know it!

It is not an attribute of a Muslim to be Two-Faced

If we talk to each other about a certain misunderstanding, instead of talking about each other behind their backs, then life would be so much better. It might be difficult, shameful, and perhaps, even hurtful to face a person and express how they are making you feel inside. but then, it's better than backbiting and being two faced, or holding a grudge although communication can solve the problem bi-iznillahi ta'ala.

The ideal Muslim does not backbite or is two faced. Nor does he hold grudges in his heart. His heart is a clean slate, full of forgiveness for his brother & sister in Islam.

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “You find that among the worst people is someone who is two-faced, showing one face to some and another face to others.” [Sahih Bukhari]

Imam Nahlawi said: “It is seldom that a person who visits leaders and important people is free of spoken hypocrisy. Spoken hypocrisy consists of saying what contradicts one’s true state. It is one of the greatest of sins. It includes being two-faced.” [Reliance of the Traveller, by Ahmad ibn Naqib al-Misri]

“Someone told Ibn Umar (radi Allahu anhu), ‘We visit our leaders and speak, but when we leave, we say something else.’ He replied, ‘In the days of the Messenger of Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) we considered this hypocrisy.’” [Tabarani]

Our tongue is a blessing from Allah, which has many specialities in comparison to every other living being on earth. Instead of using it to backbite and spread fitna, go ahead and speak to that person who is causing a satanic stir in your heart. It is quite likely that the conversation would get heated up. Try your best not to mind that. express yourself and present your solution. Let them speak and listen carefully when they do. Tell them sorry if you are on the side of err (or not, if the situation demands that). And end your heated up discussion with a warm, loving hug.

If we were to use our tongues to communicate meticulously with love and affection, every fiend is bound to become our friend.. As Allah says in the Quran:

“The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i. e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! He, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.” _ { Quran 41:34 }